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Tongue Fu!: How To Deflect, Disarm, And Defuse Any Verbal Conflict

If you've ever been tongue-tied - or if you've ever given a tongue-lashing (and regretted it), Tongue Fu! offers constructive alternatives that will turn hostility into harmony and help you avoid a mental breakdown in the face of aggression. With straightforward strategies and proven techniques, Tongue Fu! examines almost every kind of verbal conflict - from fights with your spouse or a stalemate with the kids - and shows how to use martial arts for the mind and mouth to deflect attacks, disarm disputes, and defuse any explosive situation. With Tongue Fu! you will learn words to use (and words to lose) in tense situations, the power of the phrase "You're right," the tools to use when people push your "hot buttons," how to handle a verbal bully who enjoys attacking and tormenting, how to gracefully exit an argument, what to say when you don't know what to say, how to use silence to your advantage, how to be pleasantly unpleasant, and how to take charge of your emotions.

Paperback: 256 pages

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1 edition (March 15, 1997)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0312152272

ISBN-13: 978-0312152277

Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches

Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #262,009 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #255 in Books > History > Military > United States > Veterans #393 in Books > Comics & Graphic Novels > Graphic Novels > Literary #1237 in Books > Self-Help > Self-Esteem

I purchased this book based upon many of the reader recommendations on this very important subject. However, after I received the book and began reading it, I felt scammed.Recently at work, I felt I could have handled a situation better than I did. I knew what I wanted to convey, but it came out unsatisfactorly. Being someone who wants to improve themself, I thought I'd get a book relating to this subject matter.The techniques presented in this book are inapplicable and irrelevant - they don't provide insight, and in my opinion are rediculous - the point where I found myself laughing. Reading this book felt like you were being lectured by your clueless, happy-go-lucky aunt.Techniques such as "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em", "handle hassles with fun", and saying "you're right" (and meaning it) when people complain, are not realistic techniques to addressing real problem. The one which put me over the edge is her bit "choose to be compassionate" when people fail to meet their most basic responsibilities. According to this technique, if you are in a line at some place of business, and there are 25 people in front of you and one employee, you are supposed to spend the time in line convincing yourself that "it's okay - they are just understaffed". Or, if that employee messes up your order, say an ice cream cone, you are supposed to do the following:1. "Ask them for their name" - Everyone knows doing this will immediately put the employee on the defensive.2. "State your Customer Rights and Wishes" - This is going to anger the employee with such a belittling remark.3. "Ask to see a supervisor" - Oh, really? Gee, I'm glad I'm paying money for such earth shattering advice.And so on...

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